DINAH THOMAS

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Childfree vs. Child-full

We’re not having kids. On purpose. In the delicate language of the blogosphere that translates to “ choosing a ‘childfree’ life.” Telling parents (not mine, who are cool) but other folks raising small people, freaks them out. Suddenly there’s this person standing in front of them who made different choices than they did and it’s a mind blower. Emotional buttons get pushed, but (here’s the twist) it’s not me doing the pushing. It's the person with the "normal" life who suddenly wonders "what if..."

At this point in my married life, I know where this elevator’s going, and I just point at the sign that says “Everyone’s choices are valid.” "What ifs" are not productive for anyone, but that's not mine to tell. Here are three ways I avoid confrontational conversations about not having kids:

·      Staying positive. So often debates about women’s life choices get accusatory and negative. Validating the choice to remain childfree doesn’t require denigrating parents.

·      Staying personal.  This is my story, and that of my friends and family who share this experience. Women come to life decisions from a thousand different directions. Vast generalizations are not my style.  

·      Going different places. Life is more than whether or not we have children! There are recipes to try, relationships to manage, gifts to shop for…like my blog, my conversations can go all kinds of directions. 

Are you ready to read more? Do some exploring! And if you find something you like, share it and tell them you heard it from me.

-Dinah